Recently I found myself in a situation I never envisaged. I thought I had an amazing marriage, a wonderful, caring, loving husband but last year my world collapsed when after 30 years together my husband started behaving oddly and announced he was leaving home because he felt ill and needed space to think. Time went by, I coped with the help of my wonderful children, family and friends but after six weeks away he telephoned me to tell me he had decided our marriage was over. No discussion, he no longer wanted the duty and obligation a marriage entailed. I was devastated and shocked, I thought we would be together forever. Of course later and after so many lies I found out he’d been having an affair and was already living with his thirty something girlfriend.
Viv was recommended to me by my solicitor. At first I was sceptical. A life coach, was that what I needed? I was heartbroken, in shock. I rang her, told her about my reservations but decided to go ahead after our conversation together. I felt incredibly nervous, anxious and emotional. But from the moment I met Viv and started talking to her I knew I was safe and in the right place.
The sessions are demanding. You are required to fill in a focus form which makes you think hard about yourself and the situation you are facing, honestly and objectively assessing your fears, futures challenges that await you, and how these might be achieved going forward. Initially I sat with the form and thought ‘what do I write?’. My confidence and self-esteem was shattered, how could I possibly think I was good at anything let alone had strengths? But as time moved on I came to love the focus form. It gave me structure to my everyday life and enabled me to see my progress. I am good at things, I do have successes to celebrate, I have achieved a lot in my life, I could and can face the challenges that await me. I came out of each session feeling empowered and more optimistic about my life. At the end of each meeting you agree future tasks, things you will work on before meeting again. I liked this, it gave me something to focus on, to achieve, however small. It enables you to recognise and acknowledge the forward steps you are taking and just as importantly to see the places where you may be stuck. Each session was followed up by a positive resume Viv’s prepares which is useful not only in preparation for the next one but to re-read as a reminder of the actual progress you are making towards your end goal or objective. With Viv’s careful guidance, her skilful questions, her genuine empathy and understanding of my situation, I achieved my objective and I now know that I can go forward with my life and genuinely look with enthusiasm to new adventures and challenges, and more importantly to forging a future of my own choosing. I would not, could not have been in this place without Viv. She is remarkable. The experience was enlightening. Everyone needs a Viv.