Recently I found myself in a situation I never envisaged. I thought I had an amazing marriage, a wonderful, caring, loving husband but last year my world collapsed when after 30 years together my husband started behaving oddly and announced he was leaving home because he felt ill and needed space to think. Time went by, I coped with the help of my wonderful children, family and friends but after six weeks away he telephoned me to tell me he had decided our marriage was over. No discussion, he no longer wanted the duty and obligation a marriage entailed. I was devastated and shocked, I thought we would be together forever. Of course later and after so many lies I found out he’d been having an affair and was already living with his thirty something girlfriend.

Viv was recommended to me by my solicitor. At first I was sceptical. A life coach, was that what I needed? I was heartbroken, in shock. I rang her, told her about my reservations but decided to go ahead after our conversation together. I felt incredibly nervous, anxious and emotional. But from the moment I met Viv and started talking to her I knew I was safe and in the right place.

The sessions are demanding. You are required to fill in a focus form which makes you think hard about yourself and the situation you are facing, honestly and objectively assessing your fears, futures challenges that await you, and how these might be achieved going forward. Initially I sat with the form and thought ‘what do I write?’. My confidence and self-esteem was shattered, how could I possibly think I was good at anything let alone had strengths? But as time moved on I came to love the focus form. It gave me structure to my everyday life and enabled me to see my progress. I am good at things, I do have successes to celebrate, I have achieved a lot in my life, I could and can face the challenges that await me. I came out of each session feeling empowered and more optimistic about my life. At the end of each meeting you agree future tasks, things you will work on before meeting again. I liked this, it gave me something to focus on, to achieve, however small. It enables you to recognise and acknowledge the forward steps you are taking and just as importantly to see the places where you may be stuck. Each session was followed up by a positive resume Viv’s prepares which is useful not only in preparation for the next one but to re-read as a reminder of the actual progress you are making towards your end goal or objective. With Viv’s careful guidance, her skilful questions, her genuine empathy and understanding of my situation, I achieved my objective and I now know that I can go forward with my life and genuinely look with enthusiasm to new adventures and challenges, and more importantly to forging a future of my own choosing. I would not, could not have been in this place without Viv. She is remarkable. The experience was enlightening. Everyone needs a Viv.

KH – 9.10.15

I am a solicitor specialising in Family Law. My clients instruct me to advise them about divorce and separation and all issues that may arise from these situations. Viv has come to the rescue of my clients on more than one occasion. She has an incredible insight into their real lives, what’s makes them tick and what they are having to cope with. She provides invaluable support and guidance which comes from the depth of her experience. One client told me that she felt transformed from having met with Viv; the difference in our subsequent meetings was certainly evident and meant that we could start to focus on legal issues that needed to be addressed in a structured and practical way which had not previously proved possible. My clients can’t speak highly enough of her. I certainly have no hesitation recommending Viv to them.

Lyn Ayrton – Family Law Specialist and Arbitrator, Managing Partner of Lake Legal LLP – 12.2.14

Dear Viv, Thank you so much for helping me through was has been possibly one of the most difficult times in my life. There have been so many issues to deal with but we have covered all of them & your reassurance & encouragement certainly has made me feel that I am making progress & en route to success, all the very best to you too, Ewa

E.H – 5.8.14

Having the coaching sessions with Viv has made such a difference to how I have been able to deal with the emotional side of separation.

Struggling with anxiety from the effects of my husband deciding to end the marriage and then being in a difficult custody battle, Viv has really supported me in giving me the opportunity to focus on what I can control, tools to be strong and increase my confidence to deal with the many challenges I was facing.

Having time and guidance to think about how I want my life to be and then working towards the goals to move forward with Viv has been a brilliant way to have a much more positive outlook.”

I would not hesitate to recommend Viv to anyone going through separation.

KP – Head of Procurement – 28.9.15

I was advised to see Viv by a divorce solicitor. I was going through a very traumatic divorce case and was struggling to deal with my ex-partner due to his over bearing and intimidating demeanour. I was locked in to a legal battle regarding both children matters and those of a financial nature and was finding it difficult to stand up to him and it was costing me a lot of money in legal fees.

I was very tearful and had lost most of my self-confidence. My concentration levels were poor and my work was suffering. I had been this way for about 18 months and did not seem able to break the cycle.

I was quite sceptical of coaching but was willing to try almost anything to get my life back!

I went to see Viv and I remember that throughout my first visit I was very emotional. I worked with Viv for a few sessions and I found her methods could be adapted to what suited me best. I found Viv to be engaging and that she understood exactly what I wanted to achieve through our sessions. We tried a number of different exercises and found ones that worked for me.

After the first session, I already felt more confident as I had a plan to tackle my fears.

I only attended about six sessions and by the end of this, I was able to manage interactions with my ex-partner both in person and in court.

My confidence improved so much that I felt able to commence Court proceedings against my ex due to breaches of the court order. Viv helped me so much that I was able to do this without legal representation which I would never have thought I could have done.

I am now further down the track and the court proceedings are over. My confidence has improved dramatically and I have been able to adapt the techniques that Viv taught me to other areas of my life.

I can’t believe what an impact a few short sessions with viv has made to my life.

I would definitely recommend Viv to any of my friends and family who needed some help with various aspects of their life. I used Viv predominantly for my personal life, however she also helped me with some parts of my work life.

Thanks viv, I am now happy again and am now back to my normal self.

SF – Police Officer – 7.4.13

My first meeting with Viv was quite a difficult one …..I knew I had to do something to change my life but I didn’t know what. Viv had been recommended to me – I decided to give her a go but I didn’t know what to expect. Viv pushed past all defences I put up; jettisoned all of the perceived agenda and we got on with it!!

I was in a mess as I was in the process of divorcing my husband– I felt that whatever I had to say would be dismissed when compared to other’s presentations and that I had to justify my position about everything.  I felt like I was being ambushed every step I took and frogmarched in so many directions that I didn’t know where to turn. I didn’t know what to believe: what to do: what steps I should take: which paths lead where and the best way to get through the whole macabre dance that is divorce.

I felt like a cornered rabbit facing a very large hungry fox who might or might not have a pack behind him – I knew I had to do SOMETHING but was absolutely terrified that if I did move I would be mauled or end up sitting in the glare of a pair of headlights waiting to be another piece of divorce road kill.

Once Viv and I had established where I was coming from (which now seems like a very distant river bank) we started to wade through the mess inside my head looking at the way I think and trying different ways to modify the internal (mental) view.

It really has been like crossing a huge river which at times has been in full flood and the addition of my own tears in the early stages didn’t help in keeping the flood levels down. At the start I felt very much that I was just about keeping my head above the water but over a remarkably short period of time I felt as though I wasn’t floundering around any more – that I WAS more in control – more like a swan – elegantly travelling with the river – webbed feet working with current – steering where I need to go rather than being pushed with the tide.

Viv has directed me to the stepping-stones and the shallower, smoother parts of the journey by giving me ideas and tools to help me change the way I think – mainly through visualisation and affirmation. Viv has helped me to see the success in the small steps taken on a day-to-day basis as the foundations for dealing with the fear and anxiety that engulfed me every time I look beyond the place I’m at now.

When you visit Viv, it feels like she sits you on a rock; makes you take boots off; tip the water and pebbles out; put the boots back on (or not) and you head off again.

Visiting Viv is like stepping into an enchanted world from the minute the electric gates silently sweep open – the gift of a space to step into while the rest of the world flies by – a place to stop and look at yourself through Viv’s magic mirror – Viv allows you a chance to reflect on what you see around you and in you. Viv helps you see yourself and then gives you various ways to polish the reflection and helps make you shine. At first it may only feel like you shine for the hour you’re working with her but very quickly, the shine stays on and it’s easy to buff it up again and so you can take it away with you back into the rest of the world.

Other times it’s not a mirror you look into but a window high up where you can look down onto your life and contemplate the scenery and scan the horizons. With Viv’s help, she shows you the paths; looking where they have come from; where they might lead before heading off on the path you think will take you where you think you want to be. Working with Viv gives you the confidence to not overly worry about choosing a path that doesn’t appear to go where you thought it might lead – making mistakes is part of the journey.

The actual processes Viv advocates appear to be remarkably simple and as such are easily dismissible – but they are a framework to hang on to and hang other things on to and are essential to helping you to avoid slipping back into old patterns of behaviour.

It has been such a hoot working with  Viv that it hasn’t felt like work –I feel as though I’ve become such a different person – the frightened Rabbit in floods of tears is still there although fading more and more –it still comes to the fore in some situations but a deep breath and remembering what Viv has said more often than not calms the fears to a level that I can deal with the situation.

R.Carty